I have seen this done on several blogs, so of course I am copying. Since I feel incapable of coming up with something original these days. Here are my letters to life:
Dear Next Door Neighbor,
I know perfectly well that the in-n-outs of mysterious cars throughout the week are your drug dealers. I'm not as dumb as you think I am.
Dear Linoleum Floor,
You are disgusting. Even though I just mopped you. You are, and forever will be, Gross.
Dear Noodles& Company,
Thank you for feeding me every week. And for not scolding me when my girls go hog wild with the salt and pepper shakers on your tables.
Dear Baskin Robbins,
I am so glad you are my neighbor, making it so easy to consume mass amounts of your mint chocolate chip.
Dear Church Calling,
You are my favorite. Ever.
Dear Jeans,
I'm glad you don't fit me so I have an excuse not to wear you.
Dear Warm-Ups,
You're always there for me when I want to be comfy. In short, you are ALWAYS there for me.
Dear Maternity Store,
Please stop asking me for the following whenever I visit you: my due date, phone number, address, email address, facebook account, social security number, urine sample... (Ok, I'm getting a tiny bit carried away. Just let me buy my stretchy pants and get out:)
Dear YouTube,
I've discovered you to be useful as you provide me with several rerun episodes of Frasier every night before I go to bed.
Dear Katelyn,
Stop growing. I'm not ready to let you out into this crazy world.
Dear Emily,
How did you master that smile that so often gets you out of trouble?
Dear Baby Girl,
I hope you're easygoing, cause you've got two high maintenance big sisters. But you'll love them.
Dear Jack Bauer,
Please just ONE more season? Please, please!
Dear Comcast,
I'm sorry for writing RIP-OFF CABLE in angry, bold letters on my checks every month. But really, how can you charge that much for finicky internet?
Dear Hair,
Someday maybe I will stop making you be something you are not- blonde.
Dear Treadmill,
I'm sorry you are getting very dusty. And lonely. Someday my friend, we will spend more time together.
Dear Neighbors,
Why must you all have big, noisy dogs? Is it your way of getting back at me for having such loud children? At least I don't let them wander through your yards and leave messes.
Dear Target,
Could you please start doling out child sedatives at your entrance to make my shopping experience more enjoyable?
Sincerely,
Me.
Another Year of Christmas Countdowns on Studio 5
9 years ago
Dear Becky,
ReplyDeleteThank you for inviting me to the elite status of a westerbergfam follower. You will now supply me with plenty of laughs and Jack Bauer discussions when I should be working.
Sincerely,
Skippy
P.S. The Mrs. would like to be invited as well, seems how she got me started on my new blog addiction, but I do not want to post her email here...hmmm...
Dear Becky,
ReplyDeleteYou always make me smile, and I'm with you on the jeans.
Target should have a playland like Fred Meyer. It's my new favorite store for this very reason. And I'm with you on the hair, but I've tried to be a brunette and it just doesn't fit.
ReplyDeleteI chuckled over your monthly post script to Comcast. So true. Don't you wish there was a better option out there? And, I wonder what the employee's reaction is when she reads your check? Perhaps a nod of agreement? :)
ReplyDeleteI so loved this. Made me laugh.
ReplyDelete