Brut

Still in the Halloween spirit, I conjured up a memory from a high school costume dance I'd roped some poor sucker into going to with me my junior year. We had pizza and pop for dinner at someone's house, and all the girls were taking turns in the bathroom getting freshened up to head to the dance. While in the bathroom, I decided that I smelled a little gamey. Having little sense of respect for other's property, I rummaged through the bathroom drawers looking for some sort of scented lotion or body spray to mask the stench of myself. I finally came across a tiny bottle of unmarked perfume and helped myself to a few dabs of it on my neck. Much better. My date and I piled into a minivan with three other couples and started driving to the school.

After a couple of minutes in the car, one of the guys said, "Man, what is that smell? " We all sniffed around, trying to identify the aroma in question. "It smells like Brut cologne," said another guy. A third opinion voiced, "Yeah, that's what it is. Who is wearing Brut?" I shifted in my seat, sorely wishing I'd have actually taken a whiff of the "perfume" before applying it so generously. I have decided though, that this mishap may have been a blessing in disguise. For this dance, I was donned in my full chamoflauge gear and arm tattoos, and maybe looked darn near irresistible. And I am certain that without the offensive repellent of Brut coming off my skin, my date would probably not have been able to keep his distance from me as well as he managed to that night.