Ladies At Lunch

Last weekend all the Brown girls (with cousins and aunts), had a spring get together luncheon at my parents' house. Katelyn was bugged that her cousin got cookie crumbs on the trampoline, so she rounded up a broom to sweep it off. Because don't we all understand the vitality of a clean trampoline to bounce our dirty feet on? My cousin Kelly supplied us with goodies to make our own necklaces. My mom had the house decked out with all things spring, and whipped up a delicious spread. And my sweet Grams of course had games and prizes. Spring hats were required for admittance. Not everyone was able to make it- we're such a big clan, it's hard to get everyone together. But a good time was had by all who were there! (Wish I'd gotten a picture of the whole group! Dang it.)


BROOKE AND HAYLEY- MY CUTE SIL'S
AND A TRIO OF SPRING FLOWERS


ME AND MY GIRLIES


SIMPLY MAUVELOUS





BEING DELIGHTFUL


BEING EMMY, BEING CUTE


TOUGH JOB, BUT SOMEBODY'S GOTTA KEEP THIS TRAMPOLINE CLEAN


CURSE THESE COOKIE CRUMBS!

One Smart Mom

Today while shopping at Target, Emily got fed up with sitting in the cart. For the sake of buying myself a few more minutes to browse at swimsuits, I tore open a bag of chips and let her go to town. As we were walking to the checkout line, I hear a woman with a loud, disgusted voice exclaim, "UGH, SICK! What kind of mother lets her child eat like that in a store?!" I turned around to see a lady huffing, glaring, and rolling her eyes at me with utter distaste. I took notice of her own toddler, who was flailing, screaming, and spitting. I then glanced down at a quiet and content Emily, who smiled up at me with a mouth full of orange Dorito dust. Looking back at the woman, I smile and say, "I guess a very SMART mom." My reply was not received well, which pleased me immensely.

The Kind of Mother I Am

These photos speak volumes about my ability to parent. On days when I feel like I've fallen short, it's comforting to reflect on what I am teaching my girls to be...

RESPECTFUL...

ADVENTUROUS...

DOMESTIC... P.S. When I took this picture, I'd told Katelyn to look like a MOM. She leaned against the couch with this put out look on her face. Not sure what this says about me...

STYLISH...

MODEST...

UPSTANDING CITIZENS...

HAPPY...

HAIR SAVVY...

STUDIOUS...

WELL MANNERED...

CHARMING...

PRODUCTIVE...

GRACEFUL...


How have I managed to instill such sterling qualities in these girls, you ask? Well, that's just the kind of mother I am.

Fooled

I don't care much for April Fool's Day. Not because I don't appreciate a good prank. It's just that I have pulled so many spoofs on people in my lifetime and I'm afraid it's going to catch up with me. I believe it's called karma. Heaven knows that someday I'll get my comeuppance. I've got it coming to me- especially after pulling this stunt long ago:

When I was in middle school, my cousin and I got the biggest kick out of repeatedly playing a very devious and immature joke. We would call a certain girl who lived a ways up the street and pretend to be a neighborhood mother asking her to babysit. (The "mother" we'd posed as lived across the street from my cousin.) We'd sit in my cousin's living room and peer out the window and giggle as we watched the girl walk all the way down the street for her fake babysitting job. She'd walk to the door, ring the bell a few times and wait on the doorstep, and after figuring out no one was home, she'd leave and walk back up the street to her house. Then a few minutes later we'd call her again, posing as the Mom, asking her where she was and telling her she was late. The poor girl tried to explain that she'd already come to the house and rang the bell but no one answered, and that she would come right back to tend. A few minutes later we'd spot her sprinting down the street again. She'd run up to the door, and knock... and ring the bell... and wait. We couldn't contain our sidesplitting laughter. Occasionally the mother across the street would actually be home and answer the door to find a babysitter she'd never called on her doorstep. Either way, we got our jollies every time we pulled this prank. One would think such a joke would lose it's thrill quickly, but you'd be surprised how many times we found this amusing. And also at how many times she fell for it. My childhood would not have been near as much fun if there had been caller id.

Go ahead. Tell me I'm terrible.

I Just Had To Smile

I was parked next to a man who was driving his wife and four daughters around in a minivan adorned with Twilight stickers. I just had to smile. That's a good man right there.

I was stopped behind a $130,000 BMW with a license plate that read I DO OK. I just had to smile. Pretty clever.

I was in Target and saw a very athletic looking young man drag his fiance to the kitchen section to show her all the different spices he wanted to put in the spice rack they'd registered for. Ya don't see that everyday. (Not from a basketball player, anyway.) I just had to smile.

I then strolled by the 'unmentionables' section and heard a young 'under-developed' gal tell her boyfriend that she needed a size D brasier. I just had to smile. And I couldn't restrain a chuckle.

A woman in the toy aisle repeatedly (and loudly) kept losing her temper at her daughter, who amazingly enough, happened to be named "Patience". Sweet irony. I just had to smile.

And when I saw THIS...



I just had to smile.

The "B" List

If you've ever thumbed through Oprah magazine, you're probably familiar with the O List; The section where Oprah endorses some of her favorite products. In her own words: "A few things I think are just Great!" Typically items that are superfilous and ridiculously priced: Anything from a $15 muffin to $60 hand soap for your guest bathroom. I ask myself, "Who on earth (besides Oprah) would actually pony up that kind of dough for such things?" I like to think that even if we were to stumble upon insane wealth, I would find better things to do with my cash than treat myself to a sterling silver tennis ball can. A note to friends and family: If I ever reach a point where I find it reasonable to purchase $10 rolls of colored toilet paper, please just slap me. Until then, here's my take on fab products in behalf of those of us who are still living in the real world.

THE B LIST .... "A few things I think are just GREAT!"

Wet Ones- these are far superior to the sanitizing gel that slips off my kids' palms before they can even rub it in.


Softlips - Because it's the only chapstick I use


Wallflowers- I'm partial to candles, but these are a nice alternative to forgetting to snuff out the wick and starting your kitchen on fire

Bug Bites- A hit with my girls, and Katelyn's playgroup friends. Too bad they are discontinued and I cleaned the stores out of all they had left. Good luck:)


Silicone Earplugs - For nights when you come dangerously close to smothering a snoring husband with your pillow.

Hostess mini cupcakes- No tea party is complete without them


No More Tangles- This spray means I hear a lot less of "Ow! You're hurting my head!"


Pillsbury Dough- Our Sunday dessert standby- when my homemade batch of cookies winds up burnt and in the trash.


LaCie Iamakey- I download all my photos onto this little baby and it keeps handy on my key ring for whenever I feel like developing the pics at the store. (Thanks, Eric!)


I will continue to be loyal to my "B List" products long after I win the lottery. And when I do, "YOU'RE ALL GETTING ONE!"

I Blame Disney

I found a box of straws tucked in the corner of our cupboard (along with some undesirable findings, such as a leaky honey jar- lots of fun). Katelyn wanted to use a straw to drink her apple juice, but soon she had a new idea for it. She walked around with the straw between her fingers and touched it to her lips. She didn't want little sister to miss out on the fun, and appearance of evil. So she offered, "Emily, do want me to get you a straw so you can be smokin' with me?" They entertained themselves by waving their straws around dramatically and reciting lines spoken by Cruella Deville. Ah hah! That's what comes from having 101 Dalmatians in the DVD player for the last two weeks straight. It's got me thinking that exposing my girls to these seemingly harmless Disney classics could be filling their heads with all kinds of ideas:

- Sixteen is the optimal age for becoming a bride
- It is acceptable (and even great fun) to cohabitate with 7 lonely men
- There is no danger or threat of contracting rabies when mingling with wild animals
- A man who stalks you from behind a bush and suddenly emerges while bursting into song is not only romantic, but it's a sure sign that he's the guy you're meant to marry.
- Everything will be okay if you can just get the guy to KISS you
- Moms are MEAN (especially step moms)

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go and give the 'Word of Wisdom' lecture a little sooner than I'd planned. Then I'm hiding The Little Mermaid in my sock drawer before the girls ask to go shopping for a sea shell bra.

Her Name Is What??

I was with the girls in Barnes&Noble and met a woman with her 18 month old daughter. We began chatting about our favorite kid's books and t.v. shows. She said her toddler loved Sesame Street.

Her: "I don't let my little girl watch very much t.v."

"Me, neither," I lied. "What's your daughter's name?"

"Tambrekliny" (Tam- BREK-Lyn-nee)

It felt as though a full minute went by as I tried to wrap my brain around the name the woman had just uttered. I suddenly realized that my facial expression was much like the one I always had during high school math class. I quickly tried to smooth over my face full of confusion, but all I could think to say was, "Huh." (I know, very graceful of me.) I certainly didn't mean to be rude, but I simply could not fathom how such a name was even concocted. What, you couldn't decide between Tami, Amber, Brooklyn, or Britney, so you jumbled them all together and that's what you came up with? The wheels in my brain were spinning.

The woman then mentioned that she and her boyfriend were thinking of having another baby, but that she is freaked out at the idea. I resisted the urge to suggest that she at least give her second born a normal name. She had been observing Katelyn and Emily together and asked me, "So how is it having TWO kids?" I glanced over my shoulder just in time to see Emily knock over a display case full of books and Katelyn tip backwards on a wooden bench and dissolve into tears. "So fun," I answered with a very convincing smile.

Most of the time, that is true. We have our ups and downs, but at the end of the day I can at least take comfort in knowing that I gave both of my girls names that won't ensue unflattering reactions every time they're introduced to new people through their lifetime.
Poor Tambrekliny. 18 months old and no future at all.

Heaven Help Me

During Emily's nap, Katelyn decided she wanted to play "Mom and Dad". She assigned herself as the mom, of course, and me as the dad. She came into the living room with her Dora doll stuffed under her shirt, and said to me:

"Husband, I just realized I'm going to have a baby."

I looked at the big doll bump on her tummy. "You just realized that?"

"Yeah. And I think I need to go into labor now."

"Oh, okay. Good luck." I was trying to fight back laughter because this was 'serious' play.

She came back into the living room a few seconds later and joyously announced the arrival of baby Dora. Then she said, "Husband, remember when we got married last Monday?"

"We got married just last Monday?"

"Yes. You are twenty, and I am sixteen."

"Oh boy."

She tucked the doll into the cradle and said, "It's time to put the baby to bed. Now me and you can have our alone time and watch The Biggest Loser."

Hmmm... My four-year-old daughter just pretended that she had a baby a week after her wedding at age 16. If this imaginative play is at all foreshadowing of what is to come, I'm going to be on some serious medication in about twelve years. Where have I gone wrong?

Blind Date

10 Years Ago... This gal met this guy.



My sophomore year of college, Eric got my number from one of his friends who knew my dad. When he called to ask me out, he suggested that we just meet for lunch and call it a date. That way, if we didn't end up liking each other we wouldn't be obligated to spend any further unwanted time together. Okaaaay. I wanted to know more about what I was getting myself into, so before we hung up the phone I asked him a couple of routine questions: "Where are you from? What's your major?" etc... When Eric told me he was from Preston, I immediately conjured up the image of buck teeth and Wranglers. Dang! Then I learned he was a Chemistry major. Great. A GEEK from Preston. Double Dang. Too late to retract my date agreement? Yes. My dad had always taught me to be nice. Plus, our lunch would be at Chili's, and I knew I could endure anything if it meant a free chicken sandwich.

On our first date...

-We had on the exact same shoes. (the Dr. Martens with the clunky soles)
-I ate more than Eric did.
-He told me that he wanted to be a professional snowboard instructor (check, please.)
- I made fun of him (for the previous remark, as well as other things.)
-He made fun of me for being a cheerleader (nice try, Eric- but I know that's why you asked me out in the first place:)
-Over chips and salsa, I decided that he wasn't too unpleasant to look at.
-I passed on dessert. Not because I didn't want it, but because Eric didn't. And I knew there was a box of glazed doughnuts waiting for me at home.

Over the next few dates...
-I ate prior to going out with Eric so as not to appear piggish again
-He was offended that I didn't hold on to him when we went four wheeling, even though he purposefully took the most trecherous trails.
-He accused me of being "very difficult to date". Me? Difficult? And yet he kept asking me out. Interesting.
-I later learned that "difficult" meant "hard to read". I just call it 'hard to get'.

And that is how it all began. Here's to a decade with the Guy from Preston, who incidentally does not have buck teeth and has never worn Wranglers!
Love you, E!

High Alert

There has been some suspicious activity circulating our street, including the robbery of our across-the-street neighbors a couple of days ago. All of the surrounding neighbors are feeling a bit insecure, since the robbery happened in the middle of the day. Eric is out of town tonight, leaving me slightly on edge. I'm very good at psyching myself out. In attempt to ease my nerves, I am coming up with several reasons why I shouldn't fear an intruder.

1- Eric bought me some pepper spray. He was explaining how to use it while I was watching Project Runway, so obviously I don't recall a word he said. But I think I could figure it out if I had to.

2- I have seen enough episodes of 24 to know how to seize a weapon, dislocate a shoulder, and evenly properly break a neck if need be.

3- If a thief did happen to enter our residence, he would probably take a look around at the horrendous mess and decide to leave, figuring that even if there was anything of value in the house he'd have little chance of finding it. Even I can't find what I'm looking for.

4- We own every talking/noisemaking toy under the sun, all of which are scattered on the floor. Good luck to anyone who tries to sneak an inch without setting one of them off. Upon forced entry, it would merely be a matter of seconds before the haunting croon of "ELMO LOVES YOU! ELMO LOVES YOU!" would fill the room. The robber would immediately make a run for it, either from being startled or completely annoyed.

There. I feel much better now. Oh, who am I kidding? I am a sitting duck.

Fashion Forward

Before heading out the door to run errands, Katelyn took inventory of my warmups, sweatshirt, and ponytail. Obviously disapproving, she said:

"Mom, is that what you're wearing today?"

"Yep."

Katelyn giggles a little. Then turns serious. "Are you teasing me?"

"Nope, this is what I'm wearing. I'm all ready to go!"

Pause. "Well, you're not very fancy today, are ya?"

No. No I'm not. If you could guarantee that I'd be running into Kiefer Sutherland at Target, then by all means I'd spruce myself up a bit more. Otherwise, this is as good as it's gonna get. Incidentally, below is the ensemble she threw together last week when we went to the grocery store. Given the evidence, I'm not sure which one of us is more at liberty to dole out fashion advice.



This looks consists of a dress over pants, a tutu over dress, and snow boots over pants. And this pose just busts my gut.



This looks like an annoyed celebrity trying to ward off the paparazzi.

I've to admit, the girl's got style.

You've Come A Long Way, Baby!

Two years ago we took this picture of Katelyn to send out as a valentine to friends and family. This picture has become a legend. I'd planned for a sweet, angelic smile that would ensue lots of "Aaaah, how cute"s when recipients opened their envelopes. What I got was much better. And SOOO Katelyn. I only wish viewers could have heard the annoyed growl coming out of her while this picture was taken.

Valentine's 2008



Valentine's 2010




Clearly we've made some progress

Valentine's 2008 Emmy



I love this tot, even if she is impossible to photograph
Valentine's 2010



Happy Heart Day!

Deal Breakers

Every year when Valentine's Day comes around, it seems that we're bombarded with email popup articles containing expert advice on relationships: "How To Tell If He's the One" "10 Things That Guys Find Annoying" "How To Make Him Fall For You." And so on... I've been inspired to create a list of my own based on past experience- bits and pieces of poor tactics that have remained in my memory. Granted, it has been awhile since I was single and in the dating scene, but I like to think that I still have a clue when it comes to the basics of courting etiquette. True, I stole my post title from the famous Liz Lemon, but I think these red flags might prove helpful to anyone in the dating pool:

Note: NONE of these dating faux paus were committed by Eric. The guy is a pro:) For what my primitive advice is worth, keep this is mind...

-If a guy takes you to meet his ex girlfriend and has you listen to them reminisce about their memories for an hour and a half, that's a deal-breaker. (Did I mention having to witness the collection of their high school dance pictures?)

-If a guy refuses to walk you to your door because he "doesn't want to get out of his car 'cause it's too cold and snowy," that's a deal-breaker.

-If a guy feels the need to point out that other girls are checking out his 'muscly calves', that's a deal-breaker.

-If you call a guy the morning of your date, apologizing that you have to cancel due to major stomach flu and the fact that you can't quit throwing up, and he responds only by complaining that you're not leaving him much time to find another date, that's a deal-breaker. (And a darn good run-on sentence at that.)

-If a guy spends half the date making you look at his scrapbooks full of proof of his many, many accomplishments, that's a deal-breaker.

-If you're double dating and the guys speak in their mission language to one another throughout the entire dinner, that's a deal-breaker. Not to mention super obnoxious. (And you and the poor girl dating the other guy have a pretty good idea that the fellas are making of you.)

-If a guy calls and makes you listen to a sappy ballad over the phone because "it's the only way he can tell you how he's feeling", that's a deal-breaker. But pretty darn hilarious.

-If a guy wants to show off his soccer skills by making you play goalie while he bullets the ball into the net, that's a deal-breaker. ("Okay, I give up! You were right- you ARE awesome!")

-If the guy has a potty mouth, that's a deal breaker. Plain and simple.

-If ten minutes into a first date the guy thinks it would be fun to see if your ribs are ticklish, that's a deal breaker. And well deserving of an elbow to his gut, if you ask me.

-If you and your date are eating greasy fried chicken and the guy wipes his hands off on your pant leg, cut him some slack. He doesn't mean to be rude, he's just a little clueless. (This actually was my dad. The girl who forgave him for doing this is my mom.) I'm so glad she gave him another chance.

A happy love season to all!

25 Things About Me

My first game of blog TAG. How exciting! Ok, 25 'Random' Things About Me:

1-My childhood social life lacked in such a way that I knew exactly how many licks it took to get to the center of a Tootsie pop
2-I once tried to start my own Babysitters Club (mine didn't turn out like the books).
3-I dazzled my middle school classmates by singing Amy Grant's "Baby, Baby" on my karaoke machine. Ok, seriously, why didn't someone stop me?
4-I smeared black Sharpie on my eyelashes when my mom wouldn't let me wear mascara
5-I would practice for my dream audition to be a member of KIDS Incorporated
6-I had a super-mega crush on the cast of Newsies
7-I still love to jump on the trampoline with my ipod
8-I used to tell other kids in grade school that I had a long lost twin
9-I think the movie industry would be much better if Rock Hudson and Doris Day were still acting
10-I think that a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch makes a perfectly fine dinner
11- I used to be a true litterbug. I tossed candy bar wrappers out my car window regularly and figured that I had to give the delinquents something to do.
12-I listen to Christmas music year round (on occasion). Kenny and Dolly are my favorite
13-I crank up N'Sync tunes when I'm on the treadmill
14-My biggest pet peeve is 'smacking' (people who chew with their mouths open)
15-I thought it would be cool to attend Bayside High with Zack Morris and the gang. (Even I could have had a shot at being popular at this school- weren't there only like 30 students?)
16-I wish it were acceptable for adults to snack during church
17-When I'm pregnant I crave radishes
18-There was a time when I could throw down 100 push ups every night
19- I used to like to watch Jerry Springer (sporadically)
20- I NEVER kissed any guy I dated until after at least the 5th date
21- I'm a recovered speed demon. Really, I can't believe how wicked fast I used to drive.
22-I will only wear jeans if I leave the house. I live in warm-ups otherwise.
23- I have a recurring dream that I failed my college courses and never graduated
24- I really really wish I could drink coffee
25- When I was younger I wanted to have 9 kids. Plans have changed. And time is not permitting, unless I pull a Kate Gosselin, which I'd rather not.

There you have it! Now I tag Yay-Yee (Hayley)! Let's hear it, Hay.

For The Baby...

I guess you could say this post is a product of guilt. After scrolling through past postings, it's obvious that Emily has been short-changed in appearances on our family blog. Sad, but somewhat fitting, considering her personality is all about avoiding the limelight. (Come to think of it, Eric has yet to make any appearance at all. For some reason I don't feel quite as bad about that.) Hee hee. His time will come. Despite Emily's refusals to be photographed, we've managed to steal a couple of good shots of her. This one's for Emmy... we love her to pieces!


Often found hiding in the dryer


Excels at relaxing and watching the tube


LOVES her sis


Pulls occasional attitude


Pulls frequent meltdowns


Grows too fast


Gets oodles of hugs


Gets thrown around by her uncles (Uncle Dave here)


An outdoors girl


Pretty darn cute

I think we'll keep her. Some days it's debatable, but I really think we'll keep her.

Mom By Day... Becky By Night

After a busy packed day of nonstop activity, bedtime finally rolled around. Katelyn smiles and says...

K: "So, what should we do now?"

Me: "Put you to bed, sis. I'm ready for a break."

K: "What do you need a break from?"

Me: "Just from being Mom. I'm going to tuck you in and go downstairs so I can just be Becky."

K: (Thinks for a second.) "What does Becky get to do that Mom doesn't get to do?"

Hmm, let's see...

- Hit the treadmill and crank up my tunes through my
headphones as loud as I please
- Take the corn chips and nacho dip out of hiding
- Watch 24, Biggest Loser, The Office, House Hunters....
anything without a singing map
- If Eric is home, re-watch Prison Break episodes
- Talk on the phone and get gossip from my mom or my grandma
- Rid the tub of all squirty toys and enjoy a bubbly soak without
tiny fists pounding on the door
- Sit/ Lay down (Heck, just not move)
- Read (magazines)
- Raid the candy cupboard
- Type an email
- Blog stalk
- Clean (if I'm feeling especially ambitious)
- Pour a heaping bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and devour in peace
- Breath

Being Becky may not be very exciting, but it's pretty darn relaxing.
Being "Mom"... well, I'm a big fan of that too.




I know that photoless posts aren't very exciting, but our camera is still on the loose.